What's New 312: Read This!! IV

Ok, this is really hilarious, must read k? Haha..... Damn stupid la the lawyer.....

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The Duck and the Lawyer


A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Nebraska. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it.' The old farmer replied, 'This
is my property, and you are not coming over here.'

The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue
you and take everything you own.'

The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Nebraska. We settle small disagreements like
this; with the 'Three Kick Rule.''

The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?' The Farmer
replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go
first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and
so on back and forth until someone gives up.'

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel
toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his
knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay,
you old fart. Now it's my turn.'

The old farmer smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the
duck.